http://tech.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/04/29/1441215
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
The inability to control myself
The thing that I hate most in the whole world around the globe or I should say universe is my anger, something that I am trying to control since my childhood but still sometimes it just crosses my limit and I become the jungly and once I am in that angry young man mode, I start doing anything just anything to get my wish, to get what I want, I become the real jungly. This is very tiring, to realize that I am unable to control myself, to feel myself out of my own chains and to feel that I am doing something I don't want to do, to realize that something is happening wrong, to have a wish to control the things around me and at the same time, controlling myself and then after 2 minutes realizing that you could control nothing and you are more and more angrier than what you were before 2 mins. It is frustrating. Why I cant control myself, why it just happens.... whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ... why it is so impossible to just having the control on your own..... And when I see that in past 1 year, it has grown in terms of frequency and the jungliness both, it becomes even more frustrating,,,, and the more frustrating it becomes, it comes more frequent, with more jungliness,.... and the more frequent and jungliness it has... it becomes more and more frustrating..... like a recursive function ....
I spoiled a lot of thing because of this stupid frustrating, irritating, "what do I say" thing ....
Goddddddddddddddd
I spoiled a lot of thing because of this stupid frustrating, irritating, "what do I say" thing ....
Goddddddddddddddd
The gems of my life
Thank god for you mercy that I have few gems around me, to help me out when I am in trouble, to listen to me even whe I dont speak a single word, to advice me whenever I need but dont ask, to show me the way where I should walk when I am lost, to give me the torch when it is night, to give the umbrella when it is rainy ..... Thank God for giving me some real gems, some real good friends.... They worth more than anything for me..... :)
They are worth more than a job of lacks, works more than living in U.S., worth more than having a beautiful rich girlfriend, worth more than just anything, literally anything.... I love them.... love you all.... be the same always.....
They are worth more than a job of lacks, works more than living in U.S., worth more than having a beautiful rich girlfriend, worth more than just anything, literally anything.... I love them.... love you all.... be the same always.....
Thursday, April 17, 2008
last 30 days of my B.Tech. completion
http://those4days.wordpress.com/2008/04/17/last-30-days-of-my-btech-excerpts-of-my-chat-with-one-of-my-very-good-friends/
Note for the other side
Assuming that you have gone through "THEN & NOW -1" to "THEN & NOW -6"
The Jack very well knows how to change the fucking "NOW" into "THEN" again. None of the fucking man or woman can take the stack on me. Till now the situation is in Jack's control and Jack knows how to keep it in control. Jack knows very well how to defend. It is his subject of interest and subject to specialization.
One thing - Jack never looses. Either he keeps fighting or he wins. Jack does not know how to loose.
Second thing - If Jack wants, he can turn the table around in few minutes and even some of the people at opposite side know it. But Jack is not mean always except when he is in anger. The worst weekness of Jack.
Two things that are Jack's definite advantage over the opposite are - The Confidence and The Spark ! I will take anti-anger pills during these days to keep myself under my own control. Lets see if you can do any harm to me then .....
The Jack very well knows how to change the fucking "NOW" into "THEN" again. None of the fucking man or woman can take the stack on me. Till now the situation is in Jack's control and Jack knows how to keep it in control. Jack knows very well how to defend. It is his subject of interest and subject to specialization.
One thing - Jack never looses. Either he keeps fighting or he wins. Jack does not know how to loose.
Second thing - If Jack wants, he can turn the table around in few minutes and even some of the people at opposite side know it. But Jack is not mean always except when he is in anger. The worst weekness of Jack.
Two things that are Jack's definite advantage over the opposite are - The Confidence and The Spark ! I will take anti-anger pills during these days to keep myself under my own control. Lets see if you can do any harm to me then .....
Then & Now -6
If you look at my posts for last some days, it becomes apprent that I am a character fucked up with life, someone totally frustrated, tensed, depressed... well if you think the same way then probably you are right to some extent.
All these days I am learning from life, a lot of things, making a lot of mistakes(something that I always do), and these 4 days have been a real good chapter for me, which I needed to learn, they brought up my weeknesses and made my vulnerabilities visible to me, and now when I close the holes of my weeknesses, I come out yet stronger, and ever strongest..........
-Jack
All these days I am learning from life, a lot of things, making a lot of mistakes(something that I always do), and these 4 days have been a real good chapter for me, which I needed to learn, they brought up my weeknesses and made my vulnerabilities visible to me, and now when I close the holes of my weeknesses, I come out yet stronger, and ever strongest..........
-Jack
THEN & NOW-5
THEN
I don't know whether I will get admit or not. God, help me. Please bring at least one admit with funds
NOW
I have 3 admits with 2 good universities but no funds :( .
I spoiled my one recommendation already. So, my future admits with funds is just a dream. I hope it comed true but what is probablity? Hope it is more than zero. GOD, only you know the hardwork and the reality, Please help me if Thy exists.
I don't know whether I will get admit or not. God, help me. Please bring at least one admit with funds
NOW
I have 3 admits with 2 good universities but no funds :( .
I spoiled my one recommendation already. So, my future admits with funds is just a dream. I hope it comed true but what is probablity? Hope it is more than zero. GOD, only you know the hardwork and the reality, Please help me if Thy exists.
THEN & NOW -4
THEN
Why don't you stay as R.E.
Sir, we can stay but not for the whole year. We can stay till our joining for banglore.
Ok. Good. Then you don't have to go through the whole process of the paper work. Wo to aisse hi ho jayega.
NOW
I have a deadline. You should apply before deadline
"Sir I want to stay in summer till my joining." I said.
No Reply from him.
"Everything changes with time, even the subjectivity." - Jack
Why don't you stay as R.E.
Sir, we can stay but not for the whole year. We can stay till our joining for banglore.
Ok. Good. Then you don't have to go through the whole process of the paper work. Wo to aisse hi ho jayega.
NOW
I have a deadline. You should apply before deadline
"Sir I want to stay in summer till my joining." I said.
No Reply from him.
"Everything changes with time, even the subjectivity." - Jack
THEN & NOW -3
THEN
I am sleeping and the cell rings up. Jack, kahan par hai tu, wo lab aayega kya, in stinging hindi a telugu guys speaks up.
"Why, what happened ?", Jack asks in a worried and caring tone.
"I had to search the deadlines and other info for universities. "
"Ok , right now I am sleeping, it is 12 noon, I will be there at 3"
When I reach the lab at 3, the telugu guy has no idea that which univ he was going to apply, where should he apply, what all he needs for applying. For a lot of univ, the deadline had already passed. So, after searching all the univ for which the deadline was still far enough, so that all the materials and application packet reach the univ at time, I give him a list of univ in order of preference that he should try.
"This is the list and you can pick up from it.", Jack replied with a list in hand with information about the deadline, application fees and blah blah blah...
"Bhaiyya, you will forget me definitely once you reach there in U.S.", Jack added after sometime.
"You and D******, you are my best friends. Where ever I will be you call me and I will come in 2 mins", the telugu bhaiyya said.
NOW
"Who wants to talk to you ?", The same telugu guy asks
Everything changes with time, even the subjectivity. Should I ask him, from where he got his bank letter, without which he could not apply ? The guy had lost his strength once in a while to such an extent that he was not even applying at all. Ask him who pushed him, and who motivated that he must apply and try his luck. But what is the heck, now he is admitted into UFL with scholarship, so how do I matter now.
I am sleeping and the cell rings up. Jack, kahan par hai tu, wo lab aayega kya, in stinging hindi a telugu guys speaks up.
"Why, what happened ?", Jack asks in a worried and caring tone.
"I had to search the deadlines and other info for universities. "
"Ok , right now I am sleeping, it is 12 noon, I will be there at 3"
When I reach the lab at 3, the telugu guy has no idea that which univ he was going to apply, where should he apply, what all he needs for applying. For a lot of univ, the deadline had already passed. So, after searching all the univ for which the deadline was still far enough, so that all the materials and application packet reach the univ at time, I give him a list of univ in order of preference that he should try.
"This is the list and you can pick up from it.", Jack replied with a list in hand with information about the deadline, application fees and blah blah blah...
"Bhaiyya, you will forget me definitely once you reach there in U.S.", Jack added after sometime.
"You and D******, you are my best friends. Where ever I will be you call me and I will come in 2 mins", the telugu bhaiyya said.
NOW
"Who wants to talk to you ?", The same telugu guy asks
Everything changes with time, even the subjectivity. Should I ask him, from where he got his bank letter, without which he could not apply ? The guy had lost his strength once in a while to such an extent that he was not even applying at all. Ask him who pushed him, and who motivated that he must apply and try his luck. But what is the heck, now he is admitted into UFL with scholarship, so how do I matter now.
THEN & NOW - 2
THEN
Why don't you stay as R.E.. See the project, see the company in future.
NOW
I have only limited positions, I will have to check.
Why don't you stay as R.E.. See the project, see the company in future.
NOW
I have only limited positions, I will have to check.
THEN & NOW - 1
THEN
Hi
Jack(Name changed to hide the identity)
Nice 2 meet u
Coming 2 daiict was a gr8
experience 4 me. Thanx 4
being der and helping me
out. Wishing u all
success in ur life.
U are very cute (I know I am not) and jolly
person but a bit confused.
Always keep smiling like :)
u are a gr8 person. always
remain as u are
All d Best !!
K**** (Name hidden to hide identity)
NOW
Blank Spaces
With time everything changes, even the subjectivity
-Jack
Hi
Jack(Name changed to hide the identity)
Nice 2 meet u
Coming 2 daiict was a gr8
experience 4 me. Thanx 4
being der and helping me
out. Wishing u all
success in ur life.
U are very cute (I know I am not) and jolly
person but a bit confused.
Always keep smiling like :)
u are a gr8 person. always
remain as u are
All d Best !!
K**** (Name hidden to hide identity)
NOW
Blank Spaces
With time everything changes, even the subjectivity
-Jack
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Love
Something that I missed throughout my life -Love
Something that I had everytime, on every stage - Love
Something that I want most - Love
Something that I hate most - Love
Something that I had everytime, on every stage - Love
Something that I want most - Love
Something that I hate most - Love
Friday, April 11, 2008
M.S.
Got Admit but M.S. ???
Future ???
M.B.A. ???
Aur meri lab ke 2 c******, samjhte hai saale ki wo muzh pe ehsaan kar rahe hai.... abe c*******, us ek c*** se to kayi bade bade ka kaam kiya hai maine, ek 2 kodi ki c*** se bachaya hai muzheko !!!!!!!!!!!!
Future ???
M.B.A. ???
Aur meri lab ke 2 c******, samjhte hai saale ki wo muzh pe ehsaan kar rahe hai.... abe c*******, us ek c*** se to kayi bade bade ka kaam kiya hai maine, ek 2 kodi ki c*** se bachaya hai muzheko !!!!!!!!!!!!
The Ohio State Admit
I got into Ohio State Univerisity(One among top 10 in U.S.), but it sucks like hell..... crying and laughing at the same time ...... the Game Of The Fate .... The God gave me another chance to write my own fate .... but God why did u keep so many blank pages.... Perhaps you dont know the pain when you read a blank page and you feel its meaning.... perhaps He does not know how it feels when you laugh out loud and crying tears inside.... perhaps You, you the God,,, does not know how it feels when the tears come near to the eyelid,,,, ready to pour down the face... but you cant cry...... God perhaps you don't know how it feels when you want to cry and there are people around you, you cant stop the tears, you cry and the world feels ki ye khushi ke aansu hai.... God, I beg, don't write a blank page like this in my fate.... If you show me sweets, give me a mouth to eat them, otherwise what do you want me to do, do you want me to show the sweets when I am hungry, you know I cant eat them, GOD.... GOD.... GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD, There is no God, I don't trust on any GOD,,,,,,, I wanna cryyyyyyyy, I am crying...... The delhi demo tomorrow morning 10 am, all are sleeping except my eyes..........I wanna cry out loudddddddddddddddddddd. louddddddddddddddddddddddddd. louddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
Monday, April 7, 2008
Jackkkkkkk..... came back
Yer sir,
Jackkkk returns..... I was lost for sometime... I spoiled few things.... But the Jackkkk will do his best to mitigate the effect of this distraction........... and from now onwards, you will see the same old focused Jackkkkkkkkkkkkkk, have my words sir..... The Jack returns........
-Jackkkkkkkkkkkk
Jackkkk returns..... I was lost for sometime... I spoiled few things.... But the Jackkkk will do his best to mitigate the effect of this distraction........... and from now onwards, you will see the same old focused Jackkkkkkkkkkkkkk, have my words sir..... The Jack returns........
-Jackkkkkkkkkkkk
Jackkkkkkkk... come back
Jackkkkk.... concentrate on your career Jack. Don't mess up with few girls and ruin yourself. They will leave you spoiled. Just concentrate on your career. Care for the people who care for you and fuck off everyone else. Remember it that you are worth a million. Don't spoil yourself. You are distracted from a long time. You have already messed up few important things in your career. You can not afford anymore.
Just concentrate on your career. And if you can not do it yourself, take help of some psychologist, but you must concentrate on the career in any case. You don't have an option here. You must come back to your track. Get you identity again, be the earlier JACK, Jackkkkkkk..... who only knows Winning.
-Jackkkkkkkkkkkk
Just concentrate on your career. And if you can not do it yourself, take help of some psychologist, but you must concentrate on the career in any case. You don't have an option here. You must come back to your track. Get you identity again, be the earlier JACK, Jackkkkkkk..... who only knows Winning.
-Jackkkkkkkkkkkk
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Change
Today I cried, I tried keeping it inside me but it came out, but it will never ever happen again. The tears are meant to remain inside the eyes. I AM STRONG, I am not the poor who cries.
I will change my life, I will change my priorities.
I want to write a lot... bt somethings just cant be expressed in words.........
I will change my life, I will change my priorities.
I want to write a lot... bt somethings just cant be expressed in words.........
Silence of The Cry
From long time I was thinking to write something like a short novel, but was not getting the topic, sometimes I thought of writing on religion, God, supernatural things but all of them are too common to be interested into. Fortunately today I got the topic - "Silence of The Cry".
"Silence of The Cry"
Hope I get enough time to complete this dream.
"Silence of The Cry"
Hope I get enough time to complete this dream.
5 Things why One shud keep distace from girls
5 Things why One shud keep distace from girls
1. Very sweetly she will tell u that u can tell her anything that u want.... she will endeavour to know ur reality, she will promise u that she wont tell it to anyone but you can not afford to tell her ur feelings... she cant keep it inside her ... she can never keep it inside her... and u will nvr know who all knows ur reality afterwards... though she had made promise earlier, bt she would give excuses like I told only my 1-2 best frnds ... she will brake her promise ... well 1-2 may be fine for some ppl ... bt whats guarantee that those 1-2 wont tell it to anyone... they are also a girl and they will tell to their 1-2's and soon.... u will be over... the world will know u reality and u will wonder what the fuck u did .......
2. Unless you have read some physchology books and you have some real tips to detect lie, which I believe some rare ppl try to go through, you can probably never detect when a girl is lying to you. And
3. you never know her reality unless yu have some spy mechanism. She will never let u kno, what she is upto. she will appear very sweet but trust me there are things that you will never know and she will never feel it necessary to let u know, though it might be of utmost importance to u.....
4. She will definitely talk ur -ve points with her frnds... cracking the jokes.... and if u dont have them... she will fabricate them....
5. You can afford to waste time to get above 4 ......
1. Very sweetly she will tell u that u can tell her anything that u want.... she will endeavour to know ur reality, she will promise u that she wont tell it to anyone but you can not afford to tell her ur feelings... she cant keep it inside her ... she can never keep it inside her... and u will nvr know who all knows ur reality afterwards... though she had made promise earlier, bt she would give excuses like I told only my 1-2 best frnds ... she will brake her promise ... well 1-2 may be fine for some ppl ... bt whats guarantee that those 1-2 wont tell it to anyone... they are also a girl and they will tell to their 1-2's and soon.... u will be over... the world will know u reality and u will wonder what the fuck u did .......
2. Unless you have read some physchology books and you have some real tips to detect lie, which I believe some rare ppl try to go through, you can probably never detect when a girl is lying to you. And
3. you never know her reality unless yu have some spy mechanism. She will never let u kno, what she is upto. she will appear very sweet but trust me there are things that you will never know and she will never feel it necessary to let u know, though it might be of utmost importance to u.....
4. She will definitely talk ur -ve points with her frnds... cracking the jokes.... and if u dont have them... she will fabricate them....
5. You can afford to waste time to get above 4 ......
Friday, April 4, 2008
2nd Admit
Admitted to Stony Brook.... this admit I received when I was at my all time low on 31st night and wrote the "previous to previous post" named " I am broken" ... my life is strange... it changes dramatically.... 2 hrs before I was at one of my lowest and now after 2 hrs I was at my highest ... SUNYSB was my dream university since the day i started selecting the univs.... and the reasons were : it is one of the cheapest university, Situtated in NY, ample job opportunity, very good in information security, good level of education.... it gives the most value for the money you pay .... it is an excellent place though not as good as top 3... but total fees being just 26k... it cost 1/4th of the cost any other university in u.s. .... and stands at 17th ranking for phd in CS in U.S.... best value for your money .... bt I dont think I will make it to NY finally though I have got the admit...
'SM****'
There was this girl... her name starting with 'SM'.... and i am missing her tonight... she gave me a real good company when I needed... she used to tell me her each n everything to me... she used to listen to me... she was the one, i could rely upon... she was the one, I could blindly trust... and today when
I need someone most... when I need someone to help me to make my way out of this crap.... when I desperately want someone like her...... today, when I need her help..... I cant expect it from her... and u know why ..... the reason is myself .... I am a crap... I am a holy crap ...... I deceived her... I deceived her for ... God knows how long.... she came back..... she wanted to get back to previous friendship... forget everything and I messed up all again ..... I need you 'SM****' .....I am breaking down ....... I feel your importance tonight....... but what can I do now..... time is gone .....
PS : Don't waste your time collecting stones, one day you may wake up and realise that you lost a diamond while you were busy with stones.......
I need someone most... when I need someone to help me to make my way out of this crap.... when I desperately want someone like her...... today, when I need her help..... I cant expect it from her... and u know why ..... the reason is myself .... I am a crap... I am a holy crap ...... I deceived her... I deceived her for ... God knows how long.... she came back..... she wanted to get back to previous friendship... forget everything and I messed up all again ..... I need you 'SM****' .....I am breaking down ....... I feel your importance tonight....... but what can I do now..... time is gone .....
PS : Don't waste your time collecting stones, one day you may wake up and realise that you lost a diamond while you were busy with stones.......
Monday, March 31, 2008
I am broken
i am not writing this, this is my heart penning down. and i simply, can not disown this state of myself tonight.
I RUINED MYSELF.
I AM A SPOILED BOY.
I WANT TO CHANGE.
BUT I AM UNABLE TO.
SOMEBODY SAVE ME. I NEED HELP.
I AM EMOTIONALLY BROKEN.
I AM TORN.
I WANT TO TELL EVERYTHING THAT IS THERE DEEP DOWN INSIDE MY HEART, THAT ONLY I AND THE GOD KNOWS. I WANT TO LET IT OUT. I NEED AN OUTLET. I CAN NOT FIND ONE. I NEED HELP. I NEED HELP TO GET OUT OF THIS CRAP. I AM UNABLE TO SLEEP. I AM UNABLE TO WORK. SOMETHING IS EATING ME FROM INSIDE. I CANT GO ON WITH THIS. I FEEL LIKE HELL. I WANT TO CHANGE. I WANT TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE. I WANT TO CHANGE.
http://those4days.blogspot.com/2008/03/more-than-painful-it-is-to-realize-that.html
I RUINED MYSELF.
I AM A SPOILED BOY.
I WANT TO CHANGE.
BUT I AM UNABLE TO.
SOMEBODY SAVE ME. I NEED HELP.
I AM EMOTIONALLY BROKEN.
I AM TORN.
I WANT TO TELL EVERYTHING THAT IS THERE DEEP DOWN INSIDE MY HEART, THAT ONLY I AND THE GOD KNOWS. I WANT TO LET IT OUT. I NEED AN OUTLET. I CAN NOT FIND ONE. I NEED HELP. I NEED HELP TO GET OUT OF THIS CRAP. I AM UNABLE TO SLEEP. I AM UNABLE TO WORK. SOMETHING IS EATING ME FROM INSIDE. I CANT GO ON WITH THIS. I FEEL LIKE HELL. I WANT TO CHANGE. I WANT TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE. I WANT TO CHANGE.
http://those4days.blogspot.com/2008/03/more-than-painful-it-is-to-realize-that.html
Virodh Ki Tuli
Hey,
I found this thing on my PC. Dont remember when I wrote this :
na duniya main kitabe hoti, na kabhi library,
na kabhi teacher hota, na kabhi lecture,
na kabhi exam hote, na kabhi apun fail hote,
haste haste jeete aur haste haste marte,
par in kitabo ne na jeena haram kar rakha hai,
roz ke lecture ne pata nahi kitne ghanto ko barbaad kar diya hai,
exam se jyada result ne dara rakha hai,
ab waqt hai jagne ka, aage badhkar kuch karne ka,
atyachar se ladne ka, khel-kood ki chahat ko apna hak samjhne ka,
to kyun nahi aaj se hi virod ki tuli jalaye,
apne khelne koodne ke dino ko sunhara banaye,
aaj ki aag na jane kitne massom bachon ke kaam aayegi,
virodh mai mar bhi gaye to kya, tumhari ek frame mai sadiyon tak puja ki jayegi,
bacha bacha duhai dega tumhari vijay gatha ka,
tumhare naam se shahido ki list shuru ki jayegi,
to kyun nahi aaj se hi lecture lab exam and result, sabko ko band kareye,
roz ke liye khelon aur sirf khelon ko compulsory karwaye,
khud aage badhkar virod ki tuli jalaye.
lakho masoom bacho aur bado ko dharti pe swarg dikhaye,
dharti se padhai ka namo-nishan mitaye,
to kyun nahi aaj hi virodh ki tuli jalaye,
somewhat funny ... lol
I found this thing on my PC. Dont remember when I wrote this :
na duniya main kitabe hoti, na kabhi library,
na kabhi teacher hota, na kabhi lecture,
na kabhi exam hote, na kabhi apun fail hote,
haste haste jeete aur haste haste marte,
par in kitabo ne na jeena haram kar rakha hai,
roz ke lecture ne pata nahi kitne ghanto ko barbaad kar diya hai,
exam se jyada result ne dara rakha hai,
ab waqt hai jagne ka, aage badhkar kuch karne ka,
atyachar se ladne ka, khel-kood ki chahat ko apna hak samjhne ka,
to kyun nahi aaj se hi virod ki tuli jalaye,
apne khelne koodne ke dino ko sunhara banaye,
aaj ki aag na jane kitne massom bachon ke kaam aayegi,
virodh mai mar bhi gaye to kya, tumhari ek frame mai sadiyon tak puja ki jayegi,
bacha bacha duhai dega tumhari vijay gatha ka,
tumhare naam se shahido ki list shuru ki jayegi,
to kyun nahi aaj se hi lecture lab exam and result, sabko ko band kareye,
roz ke liye khelon aur sirf khelon ko compulsory karwaye,
khud aage badhkar virod ki tuli jalaye.
lakho masoom bacho aur bado ko dharti pe swarg dikhaye,
dharti se padhai ka namo-nishan mitaye,
to kyun nahi aaj hi virodh ki tuli jalaye,
somewhat funny ... lol
Friday, March 28, 2008
Apple
One never gets apple, if what sowed was neem.
To get an apple, sow its seeds and keep nurturing, take care of its little plant till it grows in a tree.... just take care of the plant, it will grow and become tree one day ... and that day you will have more apples than your need.
To get an apple, sow its seeds and keep nurturing, take care of its little plant till it grows in a tree.... just take care of the plant, it will grow and become tree one day ... and that day you will have more apples than your need.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Sahil
Sahil was a kid, generous by heart, shares happy relations with everyone, kind to everyone, feels pain when someone slaps his friend, and sometime catches the collar of that person trying to drag him and beat him up, though he could not do so firmly, but in an effort to give back to the offense that person did to his friend. But, suddenly one day he wakes up and finds that his friend, the same friend whose life was more important than his own, for him he tried to beat an unknown person though he was never capable of that, has walked out of his life arguing "life is a game, people come, people go, deal with it."
The pain coming out after the realization of the fragileness of that relation which was so important for long time , the shock of it made Sahil, rethink to fathom out the mystery : "whether he is too generous or the world is too bad" ?
Is it possible for everyone to have no attitude, an attitude free world, not in ideal sense but in broad sense, where most of the people are attitude free, just a world that will be born if the people with attitude becomes attitude free and the vice versa? Is it possible for the world to be good, again not in ideal sense but in broad way, if bad people of today's world become good ones and vice versa ? The only practical answer is "NO", the same Sahil concluded from the people around him. But the next questions that follows are: Is it possible to reach the pinnacle without having an attitude or without being selfish? Is being selfless from his side is equivalent to harming himself and being the selfish person is necessary in this world?
Does Sahil need to adopt an attitude because everyone around him lives with one? Does he also need to change his side of the relations from selfless to "give-n-take-n-over" ? Or throught out his survival to the pinnacle, he can keep his simple intrinsic values alive with the selfless part of his character?
Nothing will be more disheartening if Sahil needs to alter himself, suppressing his real values and pretending to be someone else, which he never liked to be ?
The pain coming out after the realization of the fragileness of that relation which was so important for long time , the shock of it made Sahil, rethink to fathom out the mystery : "whether he is too generous or the world is too bad" ?
Is it possible for everyone to have no attitude, an attitude free world, not in ideal sense but in broad sense, where most of the people are attitude free, just a world that will be born if the people with attitude becomes attitude free and the vice versa? Is it possible for the world to be good, again not in ideal sense but in broad way, if bad people of today's world become good ones and vice versa ? The only practical answer is "NO", the same Sahil concluded from the people around him. But the next questions that follows are: Is it possible to reach the pinnacle without having an attitude or without being selfish? Is being selfless from his side is equivalent to harming himself and being the selfish person is necessary in this world?
Does Sahil need to adopt an attitude because everyone around him lives with one? Does he also need to change his side of the relations from selfless to "give-n-take-n-over" ? Or throught out his survival to the pinnacle, he can keep his simple intrinsic values alive with the selfless part of his character?
Nothing will be more disheartening if Sahil needs to alter himself, suppressing his real values and pretending to be someone else, which he never liked to be ?
Sahil was a kid, generous by heart, shares happy relations with everyone, kind to everyone, feels pain when someone slaps his friend. Will he remain the same Sahil or he will decide to be the part of the bigger crowd, the crowd that formed because every Sahil till now, decided to change themselves, their values and be a part of the bigger crowd.
-Jack
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Admitted !!!
March 24, 2008
Dear Mr. Kavadia:
The University of ***, College of ***, Graduate Studies Committee has reviewed your
application for admission to the MS Computer Science Department as a full-time student for the 2008-2009 academic year and we are pleased to inform you of your acceptance.
...
...
...
Sincerely,
***
Director of Graduate Studies
Hey,
I just returned from the food-court and thought of logging into my email, just to check any new mail, but I did not imagine this surprise. My first admit. I am admitted !!! Isn't that great.
:) . Thank you God. Thank you angel.
Muah
Dear Mr. Kavadia:
The University of ***, College of ***, Graduate Studies Committee has reviewed your
application for admission to the MS Computer Science Department as a full-time student for the 2008-2009 academic year and we are pleased to inform you of your acceptance.
...
...
...
Sincerely,
***
Director of Graduate Studies
Hey,
I just returned from the food-court and thought of logging into my email, just to check any new mail, but I did not imagine this surprise. My first admit. I am admitted !!! Isn't that great.
:) . Thank you God. Thank you angel.
Muah
Monday, March 24, 2008
Sometimes I wonder
Sometimes I wonder if there is anything named "love" exists in this world ?
Sometimes I wonder whether "love" means "need" or is it "want" ?
Sometimes I wonder whether I should be Jack or H****t ?
Sometimes I wonder whether I am "me, my sould" or "my mind" ?
Sometimes I wonder whether I am part of the God, the creator of the universe or God is completely different to me?
Sometimes I wonder why have I been born?
Sometimes I wonder what I want to be, a manager or an engineer?
Sometimes I wonder is research the right thing for me?
Sometimes I wonder whether answers to these questions matters at all in my life?
Sometimes I wonder what the earth or all the humans of the earth, are collectively doing in broad sense?
Sometimes I wonder whether there is a boundary between truth and false?
Sometimes I wonder whether there is a boundary between ethical and unethical?
Sometimes I wonder if there is any such boundary then who defines it and who has given the authority for that?
Sometimes I wonder that the fan that is revolving above me, is it really revolving, or it is revolving in my mind... or in the viewer's mind, in the viewer's imagination?
Sometimes I wonder whether I am in the heaven? or in the hell? or it is really the middle of the two, the earth?
Sometimes I wonder whether any answers to all of them exists? if exists, then who gives it?
Sometimes I wonder what is illusion? If it is illusion, then what is the ultimate truth?
Sometimes I wonder... is this the ultimate truth?
Sometimes I wonder whether "love" means "need" or is it "want" ?
Sometimes I wonder whether I should be Jack or H****t ?
Sometimes I wonder whether I am "me, my sould" or "my mind" ?
Sometimes I wonder whether I am part of the God, the creator of the universe or God is completely different to me?
Sometimes I wonder why have I been born?
Sometimes I wonder what I want to be, a manager or an engineer?
Sometimes I wonder is research the right thing for me?
Sometimes I wonder whether answers to these questions matters at all in my life?
Sometimes I wonder what the earth or all the humans of the earth, are collectively doing in broad sense?
Sometimes I wonder whether there is a boundary between truth and false?
Sometimes I wonder whether there is a boundary between ethical and unethical?
Sometimes I wonder if there is any such boundary then who defines it and who has given the authority for that?
Sometimes I wonder that the fan that is revolving above me, is it really revolving, or it is revolving in my mind... or in the viewer's mind, in the viewer's imagination?
Sometimes I wonder whether I am in the heaven? or in the hell? or it is really the middle of the two, the earth?
Sometimes I wonder whether any answers to all of them exists? if exists, then who gives it?
Sometimes I wonder what is illusion? If it is illusion, then what is the ultimate truth?
Sometimes I wonder... is this the ultimate truth?
Where is ME?
More than painful, it is to realize that you have lost your intrinsic essentials, that you are no more what you were, and that you are altogether someone different and someone that you never wished to be.
The change is inevitable but the through this alteration becoming someone that you hated in your life, that you abused is something shocking and the realization of it is nothing but a shock.
I can't believe what I am today. I lost myself. I lost my own personality. That H***** is lost somewhere, with the rise of Jack. But I hate this Jack, I want to be the H*****, I want to be myself, someone return me myself, myself is lost, myself is lost. Seems like I have died and got reincarnated in the same body. Where is that me ???? where is myself..... I want to be H****T, NOT THIS JACK. Oh God! I am crying :(
I loved that H****T. I hate this Jack. I want to be the H****T again.
The change is inevitable but the through this alteration becoming someone that you hated in your life, that you abused is something shocking and the realization of it is nothing but a shock.
I can't believe what I am today. I lost myself. I lost my own personality. That H***** is lost somewhere, with the rise of Jack. But I hate this Jack, I want to be the H*****, I want to be myself, someone return me myself, myself is lost, myself is lost. Seems like I have died and got reincarnated in the same body. Where is that me ???? where is myself..... I want to be H****T, NOT THIS JACK. Oh God! I am crying :(
I loved that H****T. I hate this Jack. I want to be the H****T again.
Me
I am back to my college this morning :) It was a nice time with family.... and now when I see, I find only 50 days .. last 50 days at my college.... I m crying :( ....
Now It is the time to look back at these 4 years and see what good and bad I did. where I fell and where I rose. What I learnt and what I need to. And most importantly what I missed in these 4 years that I should have acquired.
I remember the day I stepped into the daiict as the part of daiict family after getting the admit, at the time of 1st semester. There was a dream that I will be among the top 10 out of these 250 of my batch, but if I leave my 1st and 5th(after a sharp decrement in the CPI), in all rest of the semester I was never ever concentrated on the studies. I never attended the lectures seriously, did only the few labs seriously, and all I was doing was nothing but anything related to my passion. And to my bad luck, my passion also kept on changing. In this way, the second year at this college was the most unproductive. I spent my time here and there doing nothing, literally nothing. This was also the same time when I started flipping networking books. My start of the most interesting but most useless thing, i.e, hacking . I remember the day, somewhere in the mid of september or so, when I approached a renowned professor at my college, saying that I want to learn hacking and the reply was "see, I dont remember the books at the top of my head." I was taken aback but soon realised that this stuff I need to start on my own. Once I get started, I can slowly increase my presence among many other hackers. But I regard as the most unproductive thing happened to my career, at the same time most productive thing also. Productive because it is something that everyone wants to know, and something that taught me a lot of things. It is a dream to do it, doing what others cant do. Unproductive because I crossed my limit of spending time for this stuff. Doing the night outs and learning stuff putting other important things on the other side of the table. My CPI decreased, myextra curriculars stopped. And now, its of no use in my career. I can't even write it in my resume.
The 6th semester was the most productive in terms of learning. It was the semester when I joined image sensor network project. A really good one. A dream project. It was the only semester when I learned advanced theoritical computer security. And it was only this semester when I found a novel approach to attack N-queens problem. Apart from the coursework and projectwork, I gave some more time for my english language, which was very much poor, especially my verbal communication. If I remember, I could not speak a single sentence without any error. This way, the english was something very essential to my career and this semester played an important role for me in this regard.
After this, my research internship was another most unproductive time. I didnot work on the projects, tried to mug barron, which I never wanted to do. And finally I could not mug it. I would mug some words today and wil forget the next day. I did the hacking stuff again which I had left by the end of 5th semester. Involved myself in the things, which I am not supposed to do.
7th and the 8th semester till now, have been very productive. My projects have progressed well. During Delhi demo, my camera saved the prestige(I can proudfully say, coz only this thing worked). We have another date for the Delhi. I explored myself, my weekness, my +points. A lot I got to know about me, whats good for my future, what career option and goals, I should choose. and what I should be doing to achieve that.
If I see now, only those semesters have been productive, when I had something interesting and creative to do. When I was challenged and I had to prove myself. For example: in 6th sem, the creative work was on N-queens problem, and challenge was to get a command on english in few months. And in 7th and 8th, the creative thing was the Image sensor Project, and challenge was to meet the Delhi deadlines. So, in short a better career option for me will be, a place where I can get something interesting and creative to do, something challenging to do. For example: A research project may be challenging, but if it is related to theoritical research, then it may not be a good choice for me. Since I find myself self-driven for creative work, a practical and implementable research project will be a better choice over the theoritical one.
And more importantly I must leave all those useless things that have been wasting my time till now.
I wish for, a more concentrated me , a more directed me.
-Jack
Now It is the time to look back at these 4 years and see what good and bad I did. where I fell and where I rose. What I learnt and what I need to. And most importantly what I missed in these 4 years that I should have acquired.
I remember the day I stepped into the daiict as the part of daiict family after getting the admit, at the time of 1st semester. There was a dream that I will be among the top 10 out of these 250 of my batch, but if I leave my 1st and 5th(after a sharp decrement in the CPI), in all rest of the semester I was never ever concentrated on the studies. I never attended the lectures seriously, did only the few labs seriously, and all I was doing was nothing but anything related to my passion. And to my bad luck, my passion also kept on changing. In this way, the second year at this college was the most unproductive. I spent my time here and there doing nothing, literally nothing. This was also the same time when I started flipping networking books. My start of the most interesting but most useless thing, i.e, hacking . I remember the day, somewhere in the mid of september or so, when I approached a renowned professor at my college, saying that I want to learn hacking and the reply was "see, I dont remember the books at the top of my head." I was taken aback but soon realised that this stuff I need to start on my own. Once I get started, I can slowly increase my presence among many other hackers. But I regard as the most unproductive thing happened to my career, at the same time most productive thing also. Productive because it is something that everyone wants to know, and something that taught me a lot of things. It is a dream to do it, doing what others cant do. Unproductive because I crossed my limit of spending time for this stuff. Doing the night outs and learning stuff putting other important things on the other side of the table. My CPI decreased, myextra curriculars stopped. And now, its of no use in my career. I can't even write it in my resume.
The 6th semester was the most productive in terms of learning. It was the semester when I joined image sensor network project. A really good one. A dream project. It was the only semester when I learned advanced theoritical computer security. And it was only this semester when I found a novel approach to attack N-queens problem. Apart from the coursework and projectwork, I gave some more time for my english language, which was very much poor, especially my verbal communication. If I remember, I could not speak a single sentence without any error. This way, the english was something very essential to my career and this semester played an important role for me in this regard.
After this, my research internship was another most unproductive time. I didnot work on the projects, tried to mug barron, which I never wanted to do. And finally I could not mug it. I would mug some words today and wil forget the next day. I did the hacking stuff again which I had left by the end of 5th semester. Involved myself in the things, which I am not supposed to do.
7th and the 8th semester till now, have been very productive. My projects have progressed well. During Delhi demo, my camera saved the prestige(I can proudfully say, coz only this thing worked). We have another date for the Delhi. I explored myself, my weekness, my +points. A lot I got to know about me, whats good for my future, what career option and goals, I should choose. and what I should be doing to achieve that.
If I see now, only those semesters have been productive, when I had something interesting and creative to do. When I was challenged and I had to prove myself. For example: in 6th sem, the creative work was on N-queens problem, and challenge was to get a command on english in few months. And in 7th and 8th, the creative thing was the Image sensor Project, and challenge was to meet the Delhi deadlines. So, in short a better career option for me will be, a place where I can get something interesting and creative to do, something challenging to do. For example: A research project may be challenging, but if it is related to theoritical research, then it may not be a good choice for me. Since I find myself self-driven for creative work, a practical and implementable research project will be a better choice over the theoritical one.
And more importantly I must leave all those useless things that have been wasting my time till now.
I wish for, a more concentrated me , a more directed me.
-Jack
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Finally going home
In between, I got my glasses back, and tomorrow is when I will be heading to my home.
Yeye... a bit late but abhi bhi time hai.....
I am feeling happy as after the glasses break and I missed my train I thought I wont be able to go home this time but finally going home after 7-8 months .... ohhh mom I am waiting for the "aloo ki khichdi" n "pakode", something that I can get nowhere in the world but at my home :)
By the way, I dont have any reservation now... "tatkal" and "waiting" both are already regretted, all seats full....... so going by the bus or general bogy in holi's season :) ...... ya khuda , bus ko thoda khali rakhna.....
"COMING BACK HOME" by Aldo Kraas(July 15 1964 / Sao Paulo Brazil)
There has been so many changes in my life
Some sad
Some happy ones also
I beginning to understand there is so many things that I am lucking of
Lucking in controling my speech
Lucking in controling my feelings
My mind seems to be racing fast
And sometimes can be hard for me to get the words out
My mind races fast like a car running fast in the highway at high speed
I sometimes get some mixed messages
Sometimes frustration comes on
Coming back home
Coming back home
Coming back home
It is wonderful to see home again
Walking outsideDown the street
Seeing the changes of the leveas
Changing from grem to gold
Coming back home
To stay here for Good
Because deep in my heart I know this
Is my place
And I belong in here
Coming back home
Every time I go somewhere and come back
Home is always there for me
That is the place I feel so Good
No body can take that home away from me
I am lucking in having patience
Coming back home
Makes a lot of difference to me
----- hmmm good poem by Aldo Kraas
Yeye... a bit late but abhi bhi time hai.....
I am feeling happy as after the glasses break and I missed my train I thought I wont be able to go home this time but finally going home after 7-8 months .... ohhh mom I am waiting for the "aloo ki khichdi" n "pakode", something that I can get nowhere in the world but at my home :)
By the way, I dont have any reservation now... "tatkal" and "waiting" both are already regretted, all seats full....... so going by the bus or general bogy in holi's season :) ...... ya khuda , bus ko thoda khali rakhna.....
"COMING BACK HOME" by Aldo Kraas(July 15 1964 / Sao Paulo Brazil)
There has been so many changes in my life
Some sad
Some happy ones also
I beginning to understand there is so many things that I am lucking of
Lucking in controling my speech
Lucking in controling my feelings
My mind seems to be racing fast
And sometimes can be hard for me to get the words out
My mind races fast like a car running fast in the highway at high speed
I sometimes get some mixed messages
Sometimes frustration comes on
Coming back home
Coming back home
Coming back home
It is wonderful to see home again
Walking outsideDown the street
Seeing the changes of the leveas
Changing from grem to gold
Coming back home
To stay here for Good
Because deep in my heart I know this
Is my place
And I belong in here
Coming back home
Every time I go somewhere and come back
Home is always there for me
That is the place I feel so Good
No body can take that home away from me
I am lucking in having patience
Coming back home
Makes a lot of difference to me
----- hmmm good poem by Aldo Kraas
The job seeker
Those eyes saying " sir, did you like the PCB I made?" asking whether I am in or not, those eyes were irresistive.
This man came for soldering and related work at our lab, and I was the one giving him the work to assess his skills. I gave him a very compacted PCB of an embedded camera to solder headers and dip-sockets, which we reportedly failed to solder twice before. The holes for the headers were very close to each other and the shorting line were going through, even from the way between 2 very close holes. Little mistake could short the unwanted things up leaving no way our but desoldering using hot air. After soldering the given things, he came and said, "Sir......". "Ok.. ", I said taking the PCB and putingt the microcontroller and trying buring the code. I tried buring 3-4 times but it did not work. I changed the microcontroller and it worked. Actually with the previous microcontroller, I need to put one more thing on the PCB, probably there was some problem with that part, and so it was not working earlier but with the second microncontroller it worked, as the second one does not need that extra component.
All this time, that man tried to be very nice, his eyes with hope lying with uncertainity, still hope was more. On seeing the successful trial after the failed ones, the smile ran on his face. and I was thinking getting pity on that man. He was young, will be somewhere around 25 or so. and when I saw how he was struggling with life, for a moment I forgot all my pains, thinking that I am living a heavenly life and I dont value it. I used to consider my quality of life as crap !! I am considerably younger to him and he was calling me 'sir , sir '. I could feel the way I was melting inside, I wish I could give him the life that he wanted, I wish I could give him the job where he never needs to call 'sir' to a person who does not desearve this word. I wish I could give him all the happiness in life. But alas, I can feel my limit, I cant bring smile to a single face, and I roam around with the haughty head all the time. Lot of pain in the world, wish I can make it a better place. I hope that man gets all what he wants from life.
Congrats if you get the job, I am sorry if you don't. But I wish I could do something. I wish our requirements and your skills would have matched.
Lot of pain in this world, God give me power to bring smile on those faces. God give me strength, make me useful for a few people at least !
This man came for soldering and related work at our lab, and I was the one giving him the work to assess his skills. I gave him a very compacted PCB of an embedded camera to solder headers and dip-sockets, which we reportedly failed to solder twice before. The holes for the headers were very close to each other and the shorting line were going through, even from the way between 2 very close holes. Little mistake could short the unwanted things up leaving no way our but desoldering using hot air. After soldering the given things, he came and said, "Sir......". "Ok.. ", I said taking the PCB and putingt the microcontroller and trying buring the code. I tried buring 3-4 times but it did not work. I changed the microcontroller and it worked. Actually with the previous microcontroller, I need to put one more thing on the PCB, probably there was some problem with that part, and so it was not working earlier but with the second microncontroller it worked, as the second one does not need that extra component.
All this time, that man tried to be very nice, his eyes with hope lying with uncertainity, still hope was more. On seeing the successful trial after the failed ones, the smile ran on his face. and I was thinking getting pity on that man. He was young, will be somewhere around 25 or so. and when I saw how he was struggling with life, for a moment I forgot all my pains, thinking that I am living a heavenly life and I dont value it. I used to consider my quality of life as crap !! I am considerably younger to him and he was calling me 'sir , sir '. I could feel the way I was melting inside, I wish I could give him the life that he wanted, I wish I could give him the job where he never needs to call 'sir' to a person who does not desearve this word. I wish I could give him all the happiness in life. But alas, I can feel my limit, I cant bring smile to a single face, and I roam around with the haughty head all the time. Lot of pain in the world, wish I can make it a better place. I hope that man gets all what he wants from life.
Congrats if you get the job, I am sorry if you don't. But I wish I could do something. I wish our requirements and your skills would have matched.
Lot of pain in this world, God give me power to bring smile on those faces. God give me strength, make me useful for a few people at least !
Parivartan
Parivartan ki sugandh ne aaj dil ko mahkaya hai,
Jeevan mai jaise ek naya mod aaya hai,
kal tak jo sapne sanjoye they akele mai,
aaj unhi ko hakikat paya hai,
ek jamana bit gaya tha chand khawab dil mai chupaye hue,
aaj naye khawabo ko bunane ka vakt aaya hai,
dil mai umang hai,
aaj jeevan mai tarag hai,
har pal prateet hota jesse,
khushiyan aganya hai,
saflata ko aaj khud ke liye, palake bichaye paya hai,
aaj jeevan mai ek naya mod aaya hai,
lekin..
kya hai saflata sirf meri hai ???
kyon mein sirf apna hak jama raha,
na jane kitne logo ka,
har pal isme sahyog raha,
kyon mein aaj un sidhiyon ko bhul jata,
jinhone rasta diya muzhe manzil tak ka,
kyon mein ye kahta, ki hai ye sirf meri mehnat,
kya bina sidhi ke kabhi manzil ka nirman hua hai ???
saharon ko bhul jana fitrat mein nahi meri,
par unka karz chukane mai, mein khud ko akshamya samjhta hu,
isiliye mein kahta hu....
badalon ki aout se suraj nikal kar aaya hai,
saflata ke vakha par, per apna paya hai,
kal tak jo sapne sanjhoye they akele mai,
unhe vartaman mai hakikat paya hai,
sabke honthon par muskan aur dil mai khushi ko naya lakshay banaya hai,
aaj chaman se sabke liye, phool chunane ka vakt aaya hai,
sabko khushiya batne ka ahsas, sachmuch adbhut paya hai,
aaj jeevan mai ek naya mod aaya hai.
Jeevan mai jaise ek naya mod aaya hai,
kal tak jo sapne sanjoye they akele mai,
aaj unhi ko hakikat paya hai,
ek jamana bit gaya tha chand khawab dil mai chupaye hue,
aaj naye khawabo ko bunane ka vakt aaya hai,
dil mai umang hai,
aaj jeevan mai tarag hai,
har pal prateet hota jesse,
khushiyan aganya hai,
saflata ko aaj khud ke liye, palake bichaye paya hai,
aaj jeevan mai ek naya mod aaya hai,
lekin..
kya hai saflata sirf meri hai ???
kyon mein sirf apna hak jama raha,
na jane kitne logo ka,
har pal isme sahyog raha,
kyon mein aaj un sidhiyon ko bhul jata,
jinhone rasta diya muzhe manzil tak ka,
kyon mein ye kahta, ki hai ye sirf meri mehnat,
kya bina sidhi ke kabhi manzil ka nirman hua hai ???
saharon ko bhul jana fitrat mein nahi meri,
par unka karz chukane mai, mein khud ko akshamya samjhta hu,
isiliye mein kahta hu....
badalon ki aout se suraj nikal kar aaya hai,
saflata ke vakha par, per apna paya hai,
kal tak jo sapne sanjhoye they akele mai,
unhe vartaman mai hakikat paya hai,
sabke honthon par muskan aur dil mai khushi ko naya lakshay banaya hai,
aaj chaman se sabke liye, phool chunane ka vakt aaya hai,
sabko khushiya batne ka ahsas, sachmuch adbhut paya hai,
aaj jeevan mai ek naya mod aaya hai.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
The puzzle
One morning in semester 4th, during winters of 2006, me and my friend were discussing on the existence of soul, and the truth behind it, on the breakfast table chewing pauha and parantha, in front of the back door of brijwasi canteen, under the tant, where the sunrays were falling enough near to make us warm and the birds were chirriing enough more to give a feel of nature, and the green trees all around and the peaceful and calm enviorment of 7:15 am in the morning was making it the right time for looking at those spiritual and supernatural things.
It was after seeing a movie, where 5 ghost/souls enters into one body and that person is evaded. She cries to God that why is that so, and the God responds her by giving her 2 ways : 1. either come with me to heaven or 2. bear it. The girl decides to bear it and finally dies one day during some chanting being done by her uncle to save her from evading souls/ghosts. The film's name is "The Exorcism of Emily Rose " and apprently it is based on a true story, which anyonerarely believe without being informed of this fact. A story based on such facts, can leave anyone to reexamine his/her views on the souls and suernatural powers , on the ultimate truth and its existence, on the question of God , heaven and hell, and if there is a God, who is He? Something that our subconsicious mind believes that it is present and all around us and we all are part of it, or are there people who really feel that there exist no God.
While trying to make the discussion logical and derived from what we hae experienced throughout our life, we figuredout .......... to be continued .... some juniors came and I lost the rhythm ... will write sometime else.. going to bed now
It was after seeing a movie, where 5 ghost/souls enters into one body and that person is evaded. She cries to God that why is that so, and the God responds her by giving her 2 ways : 1. either come with me to heaven or 2. bear it. The girl decides to bear it and finally dies one day during some chanting being done by her uncle to save her from evading souls/ghosts. The film's name is "The Exorcism of Emily Rose " and apprently it is based on a true story, which anyonerarely believe without being informed of this fact. A story based on such facts, can leave anyone to reexamine his/her views on the souls and suernatural powers , on the ultimate truth and its existence, on the question of God , heaven and hell, and if there is a God, who is He? Something that our subconsicious mind believes that it is present and all around us and we all are part of it, or are there people who really feel that there exist no God.
While trying to make the discussion logical and derived from what we hae experienced throughout our life, we figuredout .......... to be continued .... some juniors came and I lost the rhythm ... will write sometime else.. going to bed now
The best friends/ lost friends
Ahh.. I am bored now. All my friends have left for holi and I remained here ( the reason is already posted, because of the sickness and broken glasses ). It is getting lonely. Meanwhile, I was looking at this pic and thinking about best friends and my friends.
Whenever I do so, somehow I always feel that college friends are really great, sharing stuff and living far from home doing whatever is the wish, but however, friendships of my school time are something that I will always cherish throughout my life because they are older and deeply rooted in my heart. They were selfless :) . They were great. And these guys, Arif, Praveen, Nitesh Loonker, I always miss you all. You were great, we were great. Nitesh was my best friend, went in family business and then we could not find enough time for gossiping and all and we lost contacts also, but truly you have been superb and the time I had with you, I will always remember. Arif and Praveen, I loved you. I can never forget that bench where we 4 used to sit and used to do nothing but pranks in the class. I can never forget those days when the PTI used to know me as a prankstar and he was not at all aware of my class rank and used to consider me a bad boy, while the rest of the school staff had an opposite image of mine, the good one :) . The torturing the class monitor used to bear because of us.... remember the whole class used to keep quiet and we used to talk through our different kinds of faces and smiles only to show that we are still together, bonded and no body can do us apart and keep quiet from talking to each other, only by ordering ki "CHUP RAHO", just to show that we dont follow rules but we make them. It was great, I can forget everything but those 4 days I will always remember.
And then comes saurabh sharma. This guy became my friend after 10th, and believe me he was superb. He can make you laugh, no matter what is the situation, what is your mood. The guy had got a girl-friend, really cute and I was damn jealous.... the guy was amazing.
Best friends just happen, they can't be made.....
Monday, March 17, 2008
? Image comparision
Some days before I was reading how to compare two JPEG images without decompressing them to the raw format and I wonder if I can do that precisely without decompressing. But what I think is that probably I can do that if I compromise with the precision. That is, in that case I wont be comparing images pixel by pixel but by 8*8 blocks by blocks of each of the channel. So my precision decrease from pixel to the block. Now as each of these block is of just 64 pixel, my precision will be of 64 pixel, rather than of 1 pixel. I think it should be pretty good if I just want to compare 2 similar images and crop the area that is different.
Well need to confirm whether it really works :) . Hope it will.
Well need to confirm whether it really works :) . Hope it will.
The infrared vision
Hey
I was working with this ifrared light yesterday and see what pics I got. Kool. I took these pics with an infrared camera( an image sensor with infrared vision) Now I can fit it in some kool place and this would probably take images without light !!! So, which one is better :
1. CEP top floor or Lab building top floor or back side of LT-1 (lots of couples come there in night, will just try to fnd why :P )
2. Why not to put into NIFT :), let daiict people sleep(or let them do their work at the cep top floor) calmly :P
3. How about in the .............
well, lets hope it works as I expect :) and it takes clear and better images :P
- Jack :)
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Crap
If the following is right, then why should I bother. My thing was for a reason(valid to some extent) --- lolz, i m up again, without sleeping, yeye
11:54 AM her friend: e ek baat bolu mujhe shayad vivek ka paswrd paat hai ....
khol ke dekhu kya..
wo kya chat karta hai...
usse kuchh pata chal jayega
11:55 AM d.k.: hmnnn.......mai kya bolu..chain toh hai nhi terko...
kar le try.
her friend: chhod yaar
11:56 AM uska bhai onlin hai
use pata chal jayega
d.k.: haan toh abhi mat khol...
her friend: hmmm
11:59 AM d.k.: kya khabar layi ho
her friend: kuchh nai d.k.re aka
d.k.: vendi ho gyi hai kya.
her friend: abhi vivek ke bhai sahab onlin hai
abhi kuchh nai ho sakta
kyun????
12:00 PM vendi kyun???
d.k.: tu hai hi isliye
12:01 PM her friend: kyun kyun???
batana
tu kuchh aur pochh rahi thi kya??
12:02 PM d.k.: nhi.aivi likh diya.
her friend: hat kamini
tu lunch ke liye kitna baje jaygi
12:03 PM d.k.: pata nhi..sab jab jaenge tab.....
her friend: okkkk
11:54 AM her friend: e ek baat bolu mujhe shayad vivek ka paswrd paat hai ....
khol ke dekhu kya..
wo kya chat karta hai...
usse kuchh pata chal jayega
11:55 AM d.k.: hmnnn.......mai kya bolu..chain toh hai nhi terko...
kar le try.
her friend: chhod yaar
11:56 AM uska bhai onlin hai
use pata chal jayega
d.k.: haan toh abhi mat khol...
her friend: hmmm
11:59 AM d.k.: kya khabar layi ho
her friend: kuchh nai d.k.re aka
d.k.: vendi ho gyi hai kya.
her friend: abhi vivek ke bhai sahab onlin hai
abhi kuchh nai ho sakta
kyun????
12:00 PM vendi kyun???
d.k.: tu hai hi isliye
12:01 PM her friend: kyun kyun???
batana
tu kuchh aur pochh rahi thi kya??
12:02 PM d.k.: nhi.aivi likh diya.
her friend: hat kamini
tu lunch ke liye kitna baje jaygi
12:03 PM d.k.: pata nhi..sab jab jaenge tab.....
her friend: okkkk
Saturday, March 15, 2008
The sickness before Holi
I am sick.. very sick...
hell lot of loose motion... wen 10-12 times yesterday.. oh God.. and many times day before yesterday also.. all the hydrite of my body is lost... feeling energy less ... tired... not even able to stand up and think properly.... God I was about to go home after 7-8 months.... make me healthy now... I want to go home this Holi
Day before yesteday I didnt eat much, and yesterday morning I was hungry.. but didnt have energy to stand u and go to the canteen... I couldn't even eat anything... Was feeling like I would vomit if eat anything.... finally in the night at 10, The ORS helped me and I recovered and am in a stage of writing something. Have eaten properly today, took lunch and dinner , juice, fruits , and fruit salad, bu dont know why the whole day I have been feeling hungry. Right now also, I am having stomuch ache and feeling hungry.... Oh God, help me
Hope I will recover soon.....
hell lot of loose motion... wen 10-12 times yesterday.. oh God.. and many times day before yesterday also.. all the hydrite of my body is lost... feeling energy less ... tired... not even able to stand up and think properly.... God I was about to go home after 7-8 months.... make me healthy now... I want to go home this Holi
Day before yesteday I didnt eat much, and yesterday morning I was hungry.. but didnt have energy to stand u and go to the canteen... I couldn't even eat anything... Was feeling like I would vomit if eat anything.... finally in the night at 10, The ORS helped me and I recovered and am in a stage of writing something. Have eaten properly today, took lunch and dinner , juice, fruits , and fruit salad, bu dont know why the whole day I have been feeling hungry. Right now also, I am having stomuch ache and feeling hungry.... Oh God, help me
Hope I will recover soon.....
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Exif forensic
Hey
Most of the forensic information about computer essentials are publicized by the official documentation only and as these kinds of documentation tend to be very huge and lengthy to be understood easily, the importance of unofficial, easy to be understood forensic links are great. This is a very good link that I have come across, a forensic of exif file format.
http://park2.wakwak.com/~tsuruzoh/Computer/Digicams/exif-e.html#AboutExif
Really good.
Most of the forensic information about computer essentials are publicized by the official documentation only and as these kinds of documentation tend to be very huge and lengthy to be understood easily, the importance of unofficial, easy to be understood forensic links are great. This is a very good link that I have come across, a forensic of exif file format.
http://park2.wakwak.com/
Really good.
Extracting information about FAT-32 from Volume Boot Sector
From long time, I was thinking of posting the forensic on how to extract crucial information from FAT-32, so that whoever wants to explore the digital caves of file systems, can do it easily. What I will do is that I will give some pointers and rest is on you to explore it.
So any disk has the following parts:
Volume boot sector is 512 bytes in size and is present after 63 sectors which are fixed for MBR (master boot record). Volume boot sector is a key part of the fat-32 file system present on the disk and it keeps all the necessary information to know where the FAT-table,i.e, File Allocation Table, exists, from where the root directory starts (knowledge of this location is crucial, as it is the top of the directory tree in FAT-32), how many clusters are there on the disk, how many sectors on the disk, how many sectors in each cluster, what is the sector size and all.
To begin with, I will show how each of these crucial information can be extracted from the VBS. Also, this introduction is only to give a kick start to the people, and hence, I will only go to the very basic things. If you want to learn more advance things, "google" is where your should look for .
In VBS, the Big-endian notation is used, i.e, if you want to write 0x12345678 on the disk, you should first write ox78, on the next location 0x56, on the next location 0x34, and on the next location 0x12. Now if you want to read from , say offset 17 and 18, then the offset 17 will contains lower 8-bits of the result and the offset 18 will contain higher 8-bits of the result.
The disk is often divided into tracks.
The tracks are divided into clusters.
The clusters are divided into sectors.
The sectors are composed of "a-fixed-number-of-byte". These fixed number of byte are given in VBS and it is from here our journey will start.
I will call start of VBS as offset '0' and offset 'x' will mean xth byte of the VBS.
Now, to extract "number of bytes per sector", you should read offset 11 and 12. For example, if offset 11 contains "0x00" and offset 12 contains "ox02" , then the number of bytes per sector are 0x0200, i.e. 512,.
The offset 13 contains the number of sectors present in a cluster.
Once you know this, then it is time to familiarize you with the structure of FAT-32 formatted disk, unless you know it already. A fat-32 formatted disk will have following sections in order:
1. MBR - master boot record
2. VBS - volume boot record
3. Researved Sector - for future extention
4. FAT1- first file allocation table
5. FAT2 - second file allocation table, This is nothing but a copy of the FAT1.
6. DATA area.
Now, read offset 14 and 15 of the VBS to know the number of sectors in the reserved area. If you multiply this value by the "number of bytes per sector", you will get the location from where the FAT1 starts. This is one very important location. Now, read the location 36,37,38 and 39. This will give the total number of sector in each FAT, i.e, FAT1 and FAT2. If you know the start of the FAT1 table location (which we have aleady calculated earlier) and if you know the "number of sectors in each FAT" and if you know "number-of-bytes in each sector", you can easily calculate the start of the DATA area as following :
start of DATA area = start of FAT1 + "number-of-sector-in-each-FAT" * "bytes-per-sector" * 2
Multiply by 2 because there are 2 fat tables, FAT1 and FAT2, replica of FAT1.
So, now you should be knowing the following:
1. how many byte per sector,
2. how many sector per cluster
3. location of FAT1
4. location of FAT2 = start of FAT + "number-of-sector-in-each-FAT" * "bytes-per-sector"
5. start of DATA area
:)
I hope this post will help you to better understand the FAT-32 file system with all the theoritical information available on the internet, explaining the structure of data area and FAT-table, and will give you a better understanding of actual structure and will help to analyze the FAT-32 in a forensic way.
:)
So any disk has the following parts:
Volume boot sector is 512 bytes in size and is present after 63 sectors which are fixed for MBR (master boot record). Volume boot sector is a key part of the fat-32 file system present on the disk and it keeps all the necessary information to know where the FAT-table,i.e, File Allocation Table, exists, from where the root directory starts (knowledge of this location is crucial, as it is the top of the directory tree in FAT-32), how many clusters are there on the disk, how many sectors on the disk, how many sectors in each cluster, what is the sector size and all.
To begin with, I will show how each of these crucial information can be extracted from the VBS. Also, this introduction is only to give a kick start to the people, and hence, I will only go to the very basic things. If you want to learn more advance things, "google" is where your should look for .
In VBS, the Big-endian notation is used, i.e, if you want to write 0x12345678 on the disk, you should first write ox78, on the next location 0x56, on the next location 0x34, and on the next location 0x12. Now if you want to read from , say offset 17 and 18, then the offset 17 will contains lower 8-bits of the result and the offset 18 will contain higher 8-bits of the result.
The disk is often divided into tracks.
The tracks are divided into clusters.
The clusters are divided into sectors.
The sectors are composed of "a-fixed-number-of-byte". These fixed number of byte are given in VBS and it is from here our journey will start.
I will call start of VBS as offset '0' and offset 'x' will mean xth byte of the VBS.
Now, to extract "number of bytes per sector", you should read offset 11 and 12. For example, if offset 11 contains "0x00" and offset 12 contains "ox02" , then the number of bytes per sector are 0x0200, i.e. 512,.
The offset 13 contains the number of sectors present in a cluster.
Once you know this, then it is time to familiarize you with the structure of FAT-32 formatted disk, unless you know it already. A fat-32 formatted disk will have following sections in order:
1. MBR - master boot record
2. VBS - volume boot record
3. Researved Sector - for future extention
4. FAT1- first file allocation table
5. FAT2 - second file allocation table, This is nothing but a copy of the FAT1.
6. DATA area.
Now, read offset 14 and 15 of the VBS to know the number of sectors in the reserved area. If you multiply this value by the "number of bytes per sector", you will get the location from where the FAT1 starts. This is one very important location. Now, read the location 36,37,38 and 39. This will give the total number of sector in each FAT, i.e, FAT1 and FAT2. If you know the start of the FAT1 table location (which we have aleady calculated earlier) and if you know the "number of sectors in each FAT" and if you know "number-of-bytes in each sector", you can easily calculate the start of the DATA area as following :
start of DATA area = start of FAT1 + "number-of-sector-in-each-FAT" * "bytes-per-sector" * 2
Multiply by 2 because there are 2 fat tables, FAT1 and FAT2, replica of FAT1.
So, now you should be knowing the following:
1. how many byte per sector,
2. how many sector per cluster
3. location of FAT1
4. location of FAT2 = start of FAT + "number-of-sector-in-each-FAT" * "bytes-per-sector"
5. start of DATA area
:)
I hope this post will help you to better understand the FAT-32 file system with all the theoritical information available on the internet, explaining the structure of data area and FAT-table, and will give you a better understanding of actual structure and will help to analyze the FAT-32 in a forensic way.
:)
Thoughts
The people who speak their heart out and speak whatever they feel like are the most reliable ones, because you know what they think of you and of others. What are their preferences and choices, what they like and dislike, what they do and don't.
But the ones, who are extra sweet, are the ones, whom one should always be aware of you. I am not saying that they are mean, but the problem is that it is very difficult to know their true nature and you never know whom may ditch you before being ditched actually. Their glib and sweet talk may just prevent you from knowing whats the reality.
And this is the reason why I prefer people who just speak their heart out, rather than facing a tough time with extra-sweet ones. After all, the reliability matters :)
But the ones, who are extra sweet, are the ones, whom one should always be aware of you. I am not saying that they are mean, but the problem is that it is very difficult to know their true nature and you never know whom may ditch you before being ditched actually. Their glib and sweet talk may just prevent you from knowing whats the reality.
And this is the reason why I prefer people who just speak their heart out, rather than facing a tough time with extra-sweet ones. After all, the reliability matters :)
ox1A and Dev C++
I was using this Dev C++ version 4 to compile to code written to convert the jpeg to exif format. and after trying for 2 hours to debug my code, I came to know the actual bug.
Actually, whenever it encounters 0x1A in the source file, it reads it as 0xFF. I tried fscanf, fgetc, fread, but none of them seem to work with this. When I am reading using fgetc and printing on the stdout, it prints 0xFF, when it should actually print ox1A, and after that the program hangs. I think this is a bug in the compiler :)
yeye, no bug in my code :)
Actually, whenever it encounters 0x1A in the source file, it reads it as 0xFF. I tried fscanf, fgetc, fread, but none of them seem to work with this. When I am reading using fgetc and printing on the stdout, it prints 0xFF, when it should actually print ox1A, and after that the program hangs. I think this is a bug in the compiler :)
yeye, no bug in my code :)
Monday, March 10, 2008
Yaadein
dard mai , bhi ye lab muskara jate hai ..........
beete lamhe hame jab bhi yaad aate haiiiii
true , really true ....
Sometimes even the memories of your bad time can bring the smile.
Of course, at other times they can bring the mountain of pain, but all of this depends on the quality of life, one is living.
If you are living a joyful life, they generally bring the smile, otherwise pain.
beete lamhe hame jab bhi yaad aate haiiiii
true , really true ....
Sometimes even the memories of your bad time can bring the smile.
Of course, at other times they can bring the mountain of pain, but all of this depends on the quality of life, one is living.
If you are living a joyful life, they generally bring the smile, otherwise pain.
Good news. Bad news.
There was this girl D.K. and I dont know why but sometimes all the moments that we shared becomes alive in front of me and I see them exactly as they were. It gives lot of pain, it hurts badly. I cant sleep, I loose my interest in everything, I cant even do surfing that time. But the good side is that all this happens only at few times, like when I am thinking of something and with the flow of thoughts I reach to those old good moments. And another good points is that slowly slowly both, the frequency and the intensity, of this disturbance is reducing. Previously it used to happen more often and whenever it would happen, I would go restless for a long time untill I sleep, which apparently was a herculean tast at that moment. But now, it is less intense, after some moments I am able to walk over it and move on and also, it happens less often. But one bad news is that, it happened this morning at aroung 5:30 again :( but the good news is that, after sometime I was able to move on without going back to sleep again.
There was a time, when I was thinking of meeting pshychologist regarding this, but now I think I will be able to come over it myself.
Isn't that a good news? This relationship taught me a lot of things, really a lot opening my closed and opaque weak points, and showing me where I needed to improve myself.
Isn't that a good news? ya definitely. But the bad news is that the shock is not yet over, even after lot of months since the death of our friendship.
But the good news is that it is giving signs of their near end and that they will be over soon.
There was a time, when I was thinking of meeting pshychologist regarding this, but now I think I will be able to come over it myself.
Isn't that a good news? This relationship taught me a lot of things, really a lot opening my closed and opaque weak points, and showing me where I needed to improve myself.
Isn't that a good news? ya definitely. But the bad news is that the shock is not yet over, even after lot of months since the death of our friendship.
But the good news is that it is giving signs of their near end and that they will be over soon.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Extracting information about FAT-32 from Volume Boot Sector
From long time, I was thinking of posting the forensic on how to extract crucial information from FAT-32, so that whoever wants to explore the digital caves of file systems, can do it easily. What I will do is that I will give some pointers and rest is on you to explore it.
So any disk has the following parts:
Volume boot sector is 512 bytes in size and is present after 63 sectors which are fixed for MBR (master boot record). Volume boot sector is a key part of the fat-32 file system present on the disk and it keeps all the necessary information to know where the FAT-table,i.e, File Allocation Table, exists, from where the root directory starts (knowledge of this location is crucial, as it is the top of the directory tree in FAT-32), how many clusters are there on the disk, how many sectors on the disk, how many sectors in each cluster, what is the sector size and all.
To begin with, I will show how each of these crucial information can be extracted from the VBS. Also, this introduction is only to give a kick start to the people, and hence, I will only go to the very basic things. If you want to learn more advance things, "google" is where your should look for .
In VBS, the Big-endian notation is used, i.e, if you want to write 0x12345678 on the disk, you should first write ox78, on the next location 0x56, on the next location 0x34, and on the next location 0x12. Now if you want to read from , say offset 17 and 18, then the offset 17 will contains lower 8-bits of the result and the offset 18 will contain higher 8-bits of the result.
The disk is often divided into tracks.
The tracks are divided into clusters.
The clusters are divided into sectors.
The sectors are composed of "a-fixed-number-of-byte". These fixed number of byte are given in VBS and it is from here our journey will start.
I will call start of VBS as offset '0' and offset 'x' will mean xth byte of the VBS.
Now, to extract "number of bytes per sector", you should read offset 11 and 12. For example, if offset 11 contains "0x00" and offset 12 contains "ox02" , then the number of bytes per sector are 0x0200, i.e. 512,.
The offset 13 contains the number of sectors present in a cluster.
Once you know this, then it is time to familiarize you with the structure of FAT-32 formatted disk, unless you know it already. A fat-32 formatted disk will have following sections in order:
1. MBR - master boot record
2. VBS - volume boot record
3. Researved Sector - for future extention
4. FAT1- first file allocation table
5. FAT2 - second file allocation table, This is nothing but a copy of the FAT1.
6. DATA area.
Now, read offset 14 and 15 of the VBS to know the number of sectors in the reserved area. If you multiply this value by the "number of bytes per sector", you will get the location from where the FAT1 starts. This is one very important location. Now, read the location 36,37,38 and 39. This will give the total number of sector in each FAT, i.e, FAT1 and FAT2. If you know the start of the FAT1 table location (which we have aleady calculated earlier) and if you know the "number of sectors in each FAT" and if you know "number-of-bytes in each sector", you can easily calculate the start of the DATA area as following :
start of DATA area = start of FAT1 + "number-of-sector-in-each-FAT" * "bytes-per-sector" * 2
Multiply by 2 because there are 2 fat tables, FAT1 and FAT2, replica of FAT1.
So, now you should be knowing the following:
1. how many byte per sector,
2. how many sector per cluster
3. location of FAT1
4. location of FAT2 = start of FAT + "number-of-sector-in-each-FAT" * "bytes-per-sector"
5. start of DATA area
:)
I hope this post would have helped you to better understand the FAT-32 file system with all the theoritical information available on the internet explaining the structure of data area and FAT-table, and would have given a better understanding of actual structure and would have helped to analyze the FAT-32 in a forensic way.
:)
So any disk has the following parts:
Volume boot sector is 512 bytes in size and is present after 63 sectors which are fixed for MBR (master boot record). Volume boot sector is a key part of the fat-32 file system present on the disk and it keeps all the necessary information to know where the FAT-table,i.e, File Allocation Table, exists, from where the root directory starts (knowledge of this location is crucial, as it is the top of the directory tree in FAT-32), how many clusters are there on the disk, how many sectors on the disk, how many sectors in each cluster, what is the sector size and all.
To begin with, I will show how each of these crucial information can be extracted from the VBS. Also, this introduction is only to give a kick start to the people, and hence, I will only go to the very basic things. If you want to learn more advance things, "google" is where your should look for .
In VBS, the Big-endian notation is used, i.e, if you want to write 0x12345678 on the disk, you should first write ox78, on the next location 0x56, on the next location 0x34, and on the next location 0x12. Now if you want to read from , say offset 17 and 18, then the offset 17 will contains lower 8-bits of the result and the offset 18 will contain higher 8-bits of the result.
The disk is often divided into tracks.
The tracks are divided into clusters.
The clusters are divided into sectors.
The sectors are composed of "a-fixed-number-of-byte". These fixed number of byte are given in VBS and it is from here our journey will start.
I will call start of VBS as offset '0' and offset 'x' will mean xth byte of the VBS.
Now, to extract "number of bytes per sector", you should read offset 11 and 12. For example, if offset 11 contains "0x00" and offset 12 contains "ox02" , then the number of bytes per sector are 0x0200, i.e. 512,.
The offset 13 contains the number of sectors present in a cluster.
Once you know this, then it is time to familiarize you with the structure of FAT-32 formatted disk, unless you know it already. A fat-32 formatted disk will have following sections in order:
1. MBR - master boot record
2. VBS - volume boot record
3. Researved Sector - for future extention
4. FAT1- first file allocation table
5. FAT2 - second file allocation table, This is nothing but a copy of the FAT1.
6. DATA area.
Now, read offset 14 and 15 of the VBS to know the number of sectors in the reserved area. If you multiply this value by the "number of bytes per sector", you will get the location from where the FAT1 starts. This is one very important location. Now, read the location 36,37,38 and 39. This will give the total number of sector in each FAT, i.e, FAT1 and FAT2. If you know the start of the FAT1 table location (which we have aleady calculated earlier) and if you know the "number of sectors in each FAT" and if you know "number-of-bytes in each sector", you can easily calculate the start of the DATA area as following :
start of DATA area = start of FAT1 + "number-of-sector-in-each-FAT" * "bytes-per-sector" * 2
Multiply by 2 because there are 2 fat tables, FAT1 and FAT2, replica of FAT1.
So, now you should be knowing the following:
1. how many byte per sector,
2. how many sector per cluster
3. location of FAT1
4. location of FAT2 = start of FAT + "number-of-sector-in-each-FAT" * "bytes-per-sector"
5. start of DATA area
:)
I hope this post would have helped you to better understand the FAT-32 file system with all the theoritical information available on the internet explaining the structure of data area and FAT-table, and would have given a better understanding of actual structure and would have helped to analyze the FAT-32 in a forensic way.
:)
Saturday, March 8, 2008
The mindtree's session
I was in the mindtree's session addressed to all the students at my college and I must say that it was quite informative in terms of helping us to visualize our own future. They showed a presentation on "vision" and its importance to realize its power and value. And in the end, for the first time in my life I felt that it is necessary to dream our future and act directed towards our dream. Like an organisation that measure the correctness of its actions based on its vision and objective, and correctness of the vision based on its values, which ultimately helps it to achieve its goal, perhaps everyone needs to inculcate vision and values to achieve long term success.
But when I think about myself, I still dont have a clear vision. Perhaps I need to decide on one. Perhaps I will have one soon. Perhaps this ppt was a quite relevant and important to me and attending the session was correct decision. But more important now is to act, to define my vision, values and actions. Perhaps in the next post :)
But when I think about myself, I still dont have a clear vision. Perhaps I need to decide on one. Perhaps I will have one soon. Perhaps this ppt was a quite relevant and important to me and attending the session was correct decision. But more important now is to act, to define my vision, values and actions. Perhaps in the next post :)
Lost moments with those poems
My old computer is not working and I lost a lot of things in that, especially my poems. I had written them on some really tender moments, sometimes when I was struggling, or when I was very happy with life or sometime when I was in the blues. I had tried to confine those moments into my writing and it is really painful to realize that I have lost them, forever. The poems that tried to preserve my feelings of some tender time of my life, so that I could look back at it in future and feel happily nostalgic, I lost them. Alas :(
I am not that good poet and I may not be able to write anything like them again. They came out good because of the intensity of the emotions and feeling at that time. Whenever I read them, I felt like I have traversed back in the time and I could feel the emotions of the old good/bad time in the past and later, I would be happy after looking at my life retrospectively thinking that I was like this and that .... but now I may never feel those emotions again..... :((
It is painful... oh should I write a new poem at this moment...
wo kagaj kafi tha,
in aankhon ko bharne ko,
khushi thi, gam bhi tha,
un palo ko yaad karne mai,
shayad wo panna kabhi mil nahi paayega,
par phir bhi ye dil kya unko bhula paayega?
nayi kavitaon se naya panna bhara jayega,
aur usse ek se jyada jagah "save" karke rakha jayega,
phir ye dard dubara nahi aayega :)
what a crap ... ahhhhhh
wish the old computer works and I can get them back.
I am not that good poet and I may not be able to write anything like them again. They came out good because of the intensity of the emotions and feeling at that time. Whenever I read them, I felt like I have traversed back in the time and I could feel the emotions of the old good/bad time in the past and later, I would be happy after looking at my life retrospectively thinking that I was like this and that .... but now I may never feel those emotions again..... :((
It is painful... oh should I write a new poem at this moment...
wo kagaj kafi tha,
in aankhon ko bharne ko,
khushi thi, gam bhi tha,
un palo ko yaad karne mai,
shayad wo panna kabhi mil nahi paayega,
par phir bhi ye dil kya unko bhula paayega?
nayi kavitaon se naya panna bhara jayega,
aur usse ek se jyada jagah "save" karke rakha jayega,
phir ye dard dubara nahi aayega :)
what a crap ... ahhhhhh
wish the old computer works and I can get them back.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
windows sucks
Almost a month back, I had to format my laptop and I couldn't find any Windows Xp cd except one trial version. I was in such a hurry that I formatted it with that cd c0ntaining trial version. This trial version cd would let you experience windows xp home for a month and then you must activate windows. I thought I will reformat it after a month and it would do. A week remaining in a month, it started giving warnings that your installed windows trial time is about to expire and blahblahblah... In the morning it said that 2 days are remaining, after that you must activate it. Meanwhile, I was busy writting a paper and I thought I will reformat it tomorrow and guess what.... it expired in the evening itself.... In the morning it said 2 days are remaining... and in the evening it expired .... where is my one and half day remining ???? I was busy writting my paper, that paper is only in the harddisk and now I will have to do many silly things, like boot with floppy or boot with another operating system to copy all my documents.... and then format with a proper cd.... sometimes, the sucking level of windows reaches its heights...... its an amazing sucker
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
hacks
I started hacking, soon after when I first time saw computer at my home and we had internet connection..... I was only of 17 years old when I first started it. It was lot of fun. And I, myself, can not believe that I used to do it that time, when I had no knowledge of any programming language, and computer basics or anything!!! I just used to sit on the internet, and chat. So, my computer world was limited to the arena of yahoo chat, and mailboxes of indiatimes, yahoo and rediff.
The first interesting password that I hacked was of a married lady. She was from punjab. She had done her M.Tech. in chemical engineering and was in hyderabad that time. I used to chat with her. Few times, I mailed her and she did not reply. I wanted to know what she did with my mails and bang!!! But there was something very interesting with her mail account, and I could not figure that out till today. Whenever I used to login with her id and password, till 4 times it would say login failure and on the 5th time with the same password, it would let me log in!!!!! I was baffled by this for a long time. To make sure that I am typing the same password each time, I would write it on notepad, copy it and paste it in the password field and it was really amazing seeing it saying "login failure" once and "successful logic" in the next time with same password. That time, I copied all her mails, pics , and whatever she had in one of my yahoo account and for the 6-7 months, she was totally unaware that someone had hacked her account and reading her mails. Being a kid that time, I did not understand what I was doing, but today I feel that I should not have done that.
I have hacked a lot of email accound but in no case, I used them to spoil the reputation of the target. All I did was for my own fun and fascination and in all cases, I respected the privacy of the person.
The reason I would draw lot of fun from hacking someone's private space was not majorly in the knowing the target's mail or other stuff !!! Of course, it also had lot of fun, but in most of the cases I would enjoy the things because the target did not know that his/her account has been intruded in and continued using it, while I read everybit of information in that. I was able to notice how the person was responding and pretending to be, to his/her contacts by reading the replies to them and I also used to endeavour to figure out what (s)he really thinks of them by reading mails or chats done with some friends that involves discussion about other persons. For example , in one case the target replies to her partner that she misses him and she actually moves his mails to the trash and she talks about his negative points to her friends. It means that though that target is saying her fiance that she is missing him, she is actually not missing him and saying a lie. And this part, of understanding the people's philosophy, trying to formulate some conclusion by understanding their actions and their actual emotions , was the most interesting of the whole process.
That chemical engineer was very beautiful and had a friend in U.S. and she used to chat with her. She was not completely happy with her married life and one of the reason of this was that her husband used to remain busy most of the time with his work and he always used to emphasis on the study. I was able to make guesses about her mood by logging into her email account and reading her mails before starting chats, and within some month that lady confessed that she was falling in love with me and she started calling me!!!!! Of course, I could have never got this confession had I not intruded into her account . Pre understanding of her mood, used to give me great ease in responding to her during chats. After that I had a fight with her, I revealed that I knew many other things about her... and we stopped talking after a fight...
This all was when I didnt know much abt computers.. but the knowledge of technology gained at the college, empowered my quest of intrusion and I hacked 50-100 email accounts of various types of personalities.
My another very interesting hacking was of a model. The model was based in pune and it was the first time, I understood the life, thoughts and psychology of a model. Believe me , for one week since the day I broke into her email account, I was delved into understanding her pshychology by reading her mails. She used to send a very good response to all her model coordinators. It would say that she is very much interested and the project is great and blablabla.. but the response to all the coordinators was same. That means, even though she used to say that, she didnt mean it. I opened her every mail and i was amazed by the cleaverness by which she used to reply. Once a coordinator contected her for lingerie modelling and she replied to him without making him realize that she was ready for modelling. She tagged that one of her friends could do it but that friend is out of station. So if he could let her know the details of project, company and lingeries, she would inform about it to her friend. She took all the details from the coordinator and verified that the coordinator was guinine and only after that she sent him a mail saying, "her friend is not ready but she can do it for him". What kind of pics to be sent and to whom, how to talk with people, how to respond them, she used to know every bit of it. That was the first time I realized that if a girl starts making you fool, there may be no way to know it in advance.
If you are reading it then I am very sorry and I beg your pardon, I was the only person who hacked your account but forgive me considering that my childhood. Some incidents in my life, have made me realized that I have given a lot of pain to the people, and I should not have done that. The model suffered a lot because of me, but I wish I could understand it early. I am sorry for all those who have been suffered because of my unwitting acts. I wont do it in future from now on..
The first interesting password that I hacked was of a married lady. She was from punjab. She had done her M.Tech. in chemical engineering and was in hyderabad that time. I used to chat with her. Few times, I mailed her and she did not reply. I wanted to know what she did with my mails and bang!!! But there was something very interesting with her mail account, and I could not figure that out till today. Whenever I used to login with her id and password, till 4 times it would say login failure and on the 5th time with the same password, it would let me log in!!!!! I was baffled by this for a long time. To make sure that I am typing the same password each time, I would write it on notepad, copy it and paste it in the password field and it was really amazing seeing it saying "login failure" once and "successful logic" in the next time with same password. That time, I copied all her mails, pics , and whatever she had in one of my yahoo account and for the 6-7 months, she was totally unaware that someone had hacked her account and reading her mails. Being a kid that time, I did not understand what I was doing, but today I feel that I should not have done that.
I have hacked a lot of email accound but in no case, I used them to spoil the reputation of the target. All I did was for my own fun and fascination and in all cases, I respected the privacy of the person.
The reason I would draw lot of fun from hacking someone's private space was not majorly in the knowing the target's mail or other stuff !!! Of course, it also had lot of fun, but in most of the cases I would enjoy the things because the target did not know that his/her account has been intruded in and continued using it, while I read everybit of information in that. I was able to notice how the person was responding and pretending to be, to his/her contacts by reading the replies to them and I also used to endeavour to figure out what (s)he really thinks of them by reading mails or chats done with some friends that involves discussion about other persons. For example , in one case the target replies to her partner that she misses him and she actually moves his mails to the trash and she talks about his negative points to her friends. It means that though that target is saying her fiance that she is missing him, she is actually not missing him and saying a lie. And this part, of understanding the people's philosophy, trying to formulate some conclusion by understanding their actions and their actual emotions , was the most interesting of the whole process.
That chemical engineer was very beautiful and had a friend in U.S. and she used to chat with her. She was not completely happy with her married life and one of the reason of this was that her husband used to remain busy most of the time with his work and he always used to emphasis on the study. I was able to make guesses about her mood by logging into her email account and reading her mails before starting chats, and within some month that lady confessed that she was falling in love with me and she started calling me!!!!! Of course, I could have never got this confession had I not intruded into her account . Pre understanding of her mood, used to give me great ease in responding to her during chats. After that I had a fight with her, I revealed that I knew many other things about her... and we stopped talking after a fight...
This all was when I didnt know much abt computers.. but the knowledge of technology gained at the college, empowered my quest of intrusion and I hacked 50-100 email accounts of various types of personalities.
My another very interesting hacking was of a model. The model was based in pune and it was the first time, I understood the life, thoughts and psychology of a model. Believe me , for one week since the day I broke into her email account, I was delved into understanding her pshychology by reading her mails. She used to send a very good response to all her model coordinators. It would say that she is very much interested and the project is great and blablabla.. but the response to all the coordinators was same. That means, even though she used to say that, she didnt mean it. I opened her every mail and i was amazed by the cleaverness by which she used to reply. Once a coordinator contected her for lingerie modelling and she replied to him without making him realize that she was ready for modelling. She tagged that one of her friends could do it but that friend is out of station. So if he could let her know the details of project, company and lingeries, she would inform about it to her friend. She took all the details from the coordinator and verified that the coordinator was guinine and only after that she sent him a mail saying, "her friend is not ready but she can do it for him". What kind of pics to be sent and to whom, how to talk with people, how to respond them, she used to know every bit of it. That was the first time I realized that if a girl starts making you fool, there may be no way to know it in advance.
If you are reading it then I am very sorry and I beg your pardon, I was the only person who hacked your account but forgive me considering that my childhood. Some incidents in my life, have made me realized that I have given a lot of pain to the people, and I should not have done that. The model suffered a lot because of me, but I wish I could understand it early. I am sorry for all those who have been suffered because of my unwitting acts. I wont do it in future from now on..
rocks
29th feb to 2nd march, it was my college's annual festival, synapse. Enjoyed a lot. The bands that performed were Agni and Black and I bend my head and shacked my body till 3 am in the night. It was somewhat unbelievable for me also. 3 years before, when I was in first year, I could not understand even a bit of these rock music and..... bands ??? they all were one and same for me.... I remember once, I was dancing on a sad kind of song, because I did not use to understand the lyrics...... I used to dance just because I used to think that everybody is dancing and there may be some fun in dancing on these "ye yo ye" songs, so why not I should try and see what fun is there. I didnt want to leave any bit of fun that others had and I did not. I used to go to concert because I did not want to miss their performance, I did not want to come back and be sorry afterwards thinking that I missed something while listening to my friends praising the bands. ..... ..And today, I shack my body like noone, I bend my head from start of the concert, till it ends, with the rock music, with the themes, with the lyrics (though I do not understand them few times, yet can make out the meaning)
Something, that was never enjoyable to be, is so fun for me now. I feel great time while rocking during these concerts. I liked this change in myself.....
jus cant believe....
Something, that was never enjoyable to be, is so fun for me now. I feel great time while rocking during these concerts. I liked this change in myself.....
jus cant believe....
thoughts
prawah iss nadi ka to, aaj bhi wahi to hai,
hawaye bhi ussi disha mai, vesse hi to bah rahi,
mausam bhi wahi to hai, prahar bhi wahi to hai,
par pani pine aane wale panchi hi badal chuke,
naye kinaro ki talash mai, purane panchi udd chale.
ye nadi aaj unka, intzaar karti hai,
aaj unse bar bar ye sawal karti hai,
kinare badal badal ke, kahan tak jaoge tum,
jharno mai khoob pani hai, par kya wo pee paoge tum,
jis din sagar pahunch ke bhi, pani na pee paoge tum,
ye hawaye ye mausam, kya uss din bhula paoge tum.
mere pani ke daman mai, kood ke wo khilkhilana,
phir dubki lagakar, sar ko bhigana,
achanak bahar nikal ke, kinare pe kood jana,
phir kinare se udkar, pani pe tairne ko aana,
wo din, wo chgalbaji, kabhi na bhula paoge tum,
ek din laut ke mere hi paas aaoge tum.
mere pani se hi to wo ped tha bada hua,
jiski dali pe tumne apna ghosala khada kiya,
apne jeevan ke aadhar ko iss tarah na bhula paoge,
muzhe pata hai, ek din laut ke aaoge tum.
ye dil phir bhi tadapta hai, sawal ye karta hai,
kyun tum na samjh paye ye, kyun laut ke naa aaye ab tak,
dusare naye panchi aane lage hai ussi daal pe ab,
mere hi pani mai wo khilkhilane lage hai,
isse pahle ki mein prawah apna badal du,
mein bhi naye raste, naye kinare tay kar du,
laut aao tum ab, der na ab karo,
muzse mitha pani, kahi na dundh ppaoge tum,
ye hawaye ye mausam, us din soch ke tadap jaoge tum,
jis din samander se laut ke aaoge tum,
aur apne purane ghosale ke paas koyi nadi na paoge tum.....
.
.
.
hawaye bhi ussi disha mai, vesse hi to bah rahi,
mausam bhi wahi to hai, prahar bhi wahi to hai,
par pani pine aane wale panchi hi badal chuke,
naye kinaro ki talash mai, purane panchi udd chale.
ye nadi aaj unka, intzaar karti hai,
aaj unse bar bar ye sawal karti hai,
kinare badal badal ke, kahan tak jaoge tum,
jharno mai khoob pani hai, par kya wo pee paoge tum,
jis din sagar pahunch ke bhi, pani na pee paoge tum,
ye hawaye ye mausam, kya uss din bhula paoge tum.
mere pani ke daman mai, kood ke wo khilkhilana,
phir dubki lagakar, sar ko bhigana,
achanak bahar nikal ke, kinare pe kood jana,
phir kinare se udkar, pani pe tairne ko aana,
wo din, wo chgalbaji, kabhi na bhula paoge tum,
ek din laut ke mere hi paas aaoge tum.
mere pani se hi to wo ped tha bada hua,
jiski dali pe tumne apna ghosala khada kiya,
apne jeevan ke aadhar ko iss tarah na bhula paoge,
muzhe pata hai, ek din laut ke aaoge tum.
ye dil phir bhi tadapta hai, sawal ye karta hai,
kyun tum na samjh paye ye, kyun laut ke naa aaye ab tak,
dusare naye panchi aane lage hai ussi daal pe ab,
mere hi pani mai wo khilkhilane lage hai,
isse pahle ki mein prawah apna badal du,
mein bhi naye raste, naye kinare tay kar du,
laut aao tum ab, der na ab karo,
muzse mitha pani, kahi na dundh ppaoge tum,
ye hawaye ye mausam, us din soch ke tadap jaoge tum,
jis din samander se laut ke aaoge tum,
aur apne purane ghosale ke paas koyi nadi na paoge tum.....
.
.
.
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